This is Called Confidence

Twenty executives board an airplane and are told that the flight that they are about to take is the first ever to feature pilotless technology. It is an uncrewed aircraft.

Each one of the CEOs is then told privately, that their company's software is running the aircraft's automatic pilot system. Nineteen of the CEOs promptly leave the aircraft, each offering a different type of excuse.

One CEO alone remains on board the jet, seeming very calm indeed.Asked why he is so confident in this first uncrewed flight, he replies: "If it's the same software that runs my company's IT systems, this plane won't even take off."

Never Let You Go

Vampires Drink Blood

A vampire walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a boiling glass of water. Bartender says “I thought you vampires only drank blood.” Vampire pulls out a tampon and says “Im having tea!

Life Is Like Photography

Sperm Bank

A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says “But sir, its just a sperm bank!”, “I don’t care, open it now!!!” he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says “Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!”, she looks at him “BUT, they are sperm samples???” , “DO IT!”. So the nurse sucks it back. “That one there, drink that one as well.”, so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, “See honey - its not that hard.

Dont Leave Your Valuables Unattended

He Don't Need CPR

A guy is driving on the highway, notices a person laying on the side of the road. He pulls over and inspects the person, and notices that guy has no pulse. As he begins CPR, more people have stopped to take a look and one lady calls an ambulance. A few minutes later it gets there, the ambo’s take over and also try CPR on the guy to no avail. After they are about to call it quits a lady walks up and says “can I try?”. The ambulance officers look at her stunned but say nothing as she walks over and squats on the unconscious mans face. A few seconds later he starts to show signs of life, the lady gets up and the ambo’s start questioning her: “How did you do that? what did you do?” and she replies “he didn’t need mouth to mouth, he needed a blood transfusion you sillys!